Author Topic: MOAWP S1/E7: "The Fantastic Fall of the Galactic Empire" Part 1  (Read 1887 times)

Offline Darth Depressis

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Imperial Enclave-Gall-4 years after the battle of Yavin IV



A young child carefully enters a darkened room to find a solitary figure slumped over the edge of a bunk bed regarding a unique vibro-axe of gungan design. The older man takes notice of the child.



Dilbun Vont: why ain’t you sleepin runt.

Cas-Lo Vont: I was…going to play with my…

Dilbun Vont: wit ur kriffin dollies huh? Shouldn’t you be messin wit lil strums yet?

Cas-Lo Vont: father, I’m only nine.



Dilbun Vont: (standing up from the bunk with the axe) nuthin but excuses outta you ain’t dare?

Dilbun abruptly exit’s the room in a hurry almost knocking his nine year old son to the floor with his motion.



The child regards the back of his father with glassed over eyes. The elder Vont exit’s the abode without even looking back. The young child settles on a divan and activates the holofeed.



Pundit: in a shocking turn of events there is wide spread revolt on Imperial Center following the morbid events over the Sanctuary moon of Endor. Word has it that Grand Vizor Sate Pestage promises the citizens of the Empire that he will not rest until the Rebel Alliance is utterly crushed for the heinous acts of this past night. 

Suddenly the holofeed is interrupted and the entire abode is rattled to its foundation as blasts strike the enclave. Explosions rock the entire country side as blaster fire is rained down from orbit.



The entire enclave is blasted to rubble. Within the Vont Apartment, young Cas-Lo rushes to the aid of his mother. He finds the turncoat padawan Cittro buried under a support beam.  Amidst the flaming wreckage young Vont attempts to physically lift the bulk head to no avail.



Cittro: (under rubble) those blasted rebel scum!

Cas-Lo Vont: mother, there was no air raid signal, it cannot be the rebels…

Cittro: (under rubble) who told you the procedures?…then it could only be…where’s your father!

Victory II class Star Destroyer-Ravager XIII-orbit of Gall-4 years after the Battle of Yavin IV 



The insectoid Gaff storms onto the bridge of the star destroyer to find Commander Vont standing at the main observation area with a smoking blaster in his left hand.



Gaff slows his heightened pace at the sight of the captains dead body at vont’s feet.

Gaff: so the captain started the bombardment before they could be evacuated?



Dilbun Vont: naw, you gots it all backwards gaff, that kriff head wasn’t gonna start it till all those parasites had gotten aboard the ships. Don’t need anymore mouths to feed in this fleet.

Gaff: but she’s down there too…so’s lil cas-lo…



Dilbun Vont: with ol’ augie blasted to stardust I don’t need em, either of em. Bein slowin me down far too long already as it is. Get the fleet to hyperspace, the kriffin rebels might be coming this way after they get done moppin up at endor.



Gaff: yes, commander.



The entire Gall defensive fleet of Six Star destroyers blasts into hyperspace.

Dilbun Vont: (narration) oh, so much fur da loving family crap….

Imperial Enclave-Gall-4 years after the battle of Yavin IV



The rubble ridden room begins to cave in on the surviving inhabitants, as the ceiling comes crashing down Cittro grits her teeth and accepts the unpleasant death.



Young Cas-Lo instinctively raises his arms in defiance of the death his father called down upon him. Via the power of the force the wall is not only stopped from crushing the two, it is sent collapsing in the other direction. With sudden glee the child turns round to regard his mother.



Cittro: (coughing blood) who you..think you’re saving you little bastage!

Cas-Lo Vont: I used it to save you. What can be so wrong about using it for that?

Cittro: (dying) just tryin to get me to keep playin mother….

The turncoat padawan succumbs to her wounds, leaving the nine year old to fend for himself amidst a bombed out untamed world. The child sets out into the wilderness with only the force as his ally.

Victory II class Star Destroyer-Ravager XIII-Hyperspace-4 years after the Battle of Yavin IV 



Gaff strides into the late captains lounge to find Dilbun studying a holographic star chart amidst a gathering of smashed valuables and broken furniture.

Dilbun Vont: not a kriffin drip of reserve on dis tub.

Gaff: I have some membrosia in my cabin if that’d be of any help?

Dilbun Vont: neva touched the stuff.

Gaff: so what is our heading, mission, scheme?



Dilbun Vont: if ya hadn’t noticed there Gaff, I’m whut you’d call something of a softie when it came to ol’ augie. He wuz the only person I neva double crossed, truth.

Gaff: but hive mates and hatchlings are of no concern to you?

Dilbun Vont: (slamming vibro-axe on the desk) stay on subject! Although the rebels carried out the deed that done in ol augie I personally hold the bothan spies accountable for his bein dead.

Gaff: Koth Melan was slain by a Barabel hit squad a month ago Dilbun. Who you gonna kill now?

Dilbun Vont: yea, yea. I know dat. He wasn’t the only bothan wit hiz fur in that mess. Bein scanning the imperial network, those kriffers neva stopped working the original slice trail where the plans where obtained.

Gaff: I follow so far.

Dilbun Vont: good, the bothan spynet tried to bribe a highly placed imperial officer into placing a slicer droid into the coruscant computer network, dat failed but they obtained the plans anyway.



Gaff: so we’re going to imperial center?

Dilbun Vont: oh no, we go there this whole fleet gets absconded and redistributed into the war effort. Dis is my kriffin fleet gaff. They ain’t gittin it back.

Gaff: so were still goin after bothan spies?

Dilbun Vont: you betcher arse we are, gonna toast those furbags myself!

Rooftop-Aquilae-4 years after the Battle of Yavin IV 

A platoon of imperial storm troopers march down a overly crowded street carrying the solitary banner of the Empire. On the rooftop of a building overlooking the scene a pair of Bothan spies sympathetic to the rebel cause keep a proton canon locked on a central power line right above the intended direction of the imperial demonstration.



Tani Ab’yla: you sure we should still be carrying out this strike?

Utric Sandov: last time I checked, no imps aren’t throwing down their blasters  in the name of peace. This neat little civil war just turned into a sectarian mess tani. Be lucky if the new republic or alliance of free planets or whatever catchy little tagline they settle on; is set up within a thousand years.

Tani Ab’yla: so were gonna murder that whole street of people down there for a cause that by your account is just hopeless, correct me if I’m wrong.

Utric Sandov: we take out that batch of non-humanoid hating imperial zealots and we may not hafta..

Tani Ab’yla: face it, you cannot condone this. it’s a act of murder plain and simple! Nor is a cry of ar’krai being let out towards all imperials is there?

Utric Sandov: we both know if endor had been a defeat neither of us would be up here with doubts it’d be pop goes the imp.



Tani Ab’yla: see you have doubts too!

Utric Sandov: (disengaging canon) no, you just drive a hard bargain. I’m sold. So now where are we letting off this payload? Got any legit, morally acceptable targets for me?

Tani Ab’yla: (slicing computer socket) ok legit targets; storm trooper barracks, morally acceptable; negative they let families bunk together on this Podunk rock.



Utric Sandov: (compressing rocket launcher) what about that karkin airfield?

Tani Ab’yla: watch your language!  We’d cut off their supplies. But not all the livestock in these waters are inedible to humans. We could also sever their link with the rest of the imperial network.



Utric Sandov: fine, but what are we gonna do about this kriffin..excuse me lovely proton missile of my mine and don’t say just fire into the sea.

Tani Ab’yla: there’s a comm-tower in the northern hemisphere, we blow it and they can’t build another without supplies they can’t call out for since were cutting them off for the duration of hostilities.

Utric Sandov: fine. Troops learn to fish, and rough it out for the next twenty years.


Victory II class Star Destroyer-Ravager XIII-Hyperspace-4 years after the Battle of Yavin IV 



an insectoid rushes down a corridor to a storm trooper guarded door which hisses open upon his approach, Commander Vont exit’s the room with a blood-soaked gungan vibro-axe. Gaff follows the commander down the corridor he just came down.

Gaff: what happened to the fleet captains dinner?

Dilbun Vont: lets just say; dare won’t be any contention for the title of fleet commander, now will dare?



Gaff: but what of mutiny? The sub-commanders will drop out of light speed and defect from your command.

Dilbun Vont: kriffin fleet is slave rigged to da ravager, so wuts our status…what title you want gaff?



Gaff: I work best from the sidelines, commander. Were en route to the Aquilae system, but there appears to be a planet wide infection warning faintly broadcasting.

Dilbun Vont: that sounds like a slicer fur sure. Get some bright guy on a formation or what have yea, and keep our shields up. And keep our tractor beams at the ready. These furbags are bout to bounce.



The two briskly march onto the bridge of the vessel, only to be greeted by a chorus of status updates.

Imperial Technician: before the quarantine went up; warrants and bounty hunter assistance summons where issued for Jaxxon and Amaiza Foxtrain. There was even mention of an unauthorized landing of one YT-2400 and a WUD-500 class vessel in the northern hemisphere.

Dilbun Vont: could be the kriffin outrider, and perhaps even the rabbit’s foot.



Gaff: I highly doubt your bothan spies could afford transport from the likes of either of those parties.

Dilbun Vont: yea and nobody took solo but nuthin for a kriffin nerf herdin smuggla now did they? Get up a couple wings of ties. 

Gaff: perhaps the launch order should be rescinded until we come out of light speed?

Dilbun Vont: (preparing backhand) I’m in charge of dis…yeah but git your arses ready! All ships git your ties ready to dismount when we reach Aquilae. it’s a kriffin order!

Vont quickly leaves the bridge in a hurry, Gaff looks back at the commander while retracting his deadly stinger.

Communications Tower-Aquilae-4 years after the Battle of Yavin IV 



A pair of vessels make their landings atop a large landing pad in the midst of a vast ocean teaming with large predator creatures clashing with one another. The shielded structure Is continually challenged by a group of such titans. The crew of The Outider consisting of bothan spies and their pilot Dash Rendar frantically rush to greet their temporary allies; the crew of Rabbit’s Foot .



Jaxxon: we should really just scratch dis karkin plan and dust dis soggy hell hole!

Dash Rendar: please tell me you didn’t get fingered for anything you shouldn’t have been doin on this trip?

Amaiza Foxtrain: I didn’t get the death mark on six systems for jaywalking there flyboy.

Tani Ab’yla: this was an Alliance funded mission outlaw! There was to be no unwarranted theft of property!



Rianna Sarin: unless of course the proceeds where donated to the rebel alliance?

Jaxxon: better check the reception on that lekku there yum yum, ain’t gonna happen. Our loot will make up for the peanuts you rebels pay to ride the rabbit’s foot.

Rianna Sarin: and how much does Zeeo get for all the repair work he’s bein doin to keep your tub in the sky?

Utric Sandov: ok stow it all! Where you being chased over here or not I smell burnt hull?

Amaiza Foxtrain: knew we couldn’t fool a bothan spy, might have been a few ticked off imps gunnin for us down in the south isles.

Jaxxon: oh and that bookie we cleaned out in the eastern block..shoulda bein there it was priceless.

Dash Rendar: I’m sure it was, well I’m leaving in as long as it takes to get the outrider primed. Anybody goin with her had better be aboard by then.

Tani Ab’yla: we’ll be there, come on Sarin.

Rianna Sarin: here we go zeeo.

The hovering droid accompanies its master gleefully as Rendar goes back up his ramp.



Utric Sandov: alright you two tossers,  fork over the creds.

Amaiza Foxtrain: you think were actually donating our haul!

Jaxxon: you chubba rebels just offed the emperor, what the kriff you need with outlaws plunder anyhow?
Ain’t it all ticker tape parades for solo and the other guerilla heroes.

Utric Sandov: that holovid of the uprising on imperial center is real heart warming ain’t it?  So’s a kriffin blaster bolt in your gut. The imps ain’t licked yet, so if you please the alliance would greatly appreciate the funds to make the empire truly; history.



Amaiza Foxtrain: (tossing coins to the ground) whose to say your little alliance can even manage this galaxy? Think its gonna be a lot harder than blastin a bolt through a two meter gap. Huh?

Utric Sandov: (collecting coins) with minds such as these to save, why do we continue?



Amaiza Foxtrain: oh and with such brigands to serve.

Jaxxon: look there sugar; yesterdays freedom fightin Insurgent, tomorrows money grubbin Bureaucrat. Ain’t it a sight!

The outlaws walk back towards their vessel as the bothan continues to collect their imperial currency from the floor of the platform.



 Meanwhile Tani Ab’yla, Rianna Sarin and Zeeo make their way into the depths of the ocean world via a force field shielded lift with a panoramic via of the life rich sea.

Rianna Sarin: just to think one hiccup in the power relay and we get crushed to death by the depth before the predators can even make a snack outta us.

Z-58-0: in that case why didn’t you just send me in your places? I can survive the depths of space.

Tani Ab’yla: a sentient slicer has something you just can’t program. No offense Zeeo.



Rianna Sarin: you’d be amazed at the amount he can achieve with that processor.

Z-58-0: whats that supposed to mean?

Tani Ab’yla: oh its just that arakyd industries isn’t known for producing…

Rianna Sarin: don’t mind the bothan, zeeo. She’ll learn.

The lift comes to a stop and opens onto a deserted observation deck, the droid flies to its task as tani and rianna set about their own duties. Topside; Dash Rendar rapidly exit’s the ramp of his craft.

Offline hangarbay94

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Re: MOAWP S1/E7: "The Fantastic Fall of the Galactic Empire" Part 1
« Reply #1 on: September 30, 2010, 05:59:37 AM »
Darth,

Not only is this impressive from a graphical point of view but the story is (excuse my language) 'Kriffin' awesome! I'm really beginning to 'get' your work and it really is a rich mixture of troubled violence, some very aggressive and totally nasty characters, amazing locations in a realistic Star Wars Universe. Sure I concentrate on graphics, but at the end of the day it's the story that really matters, and I guess that was the point that you were trying to make over at YF. It seems a shame that people don't give these the time they deserve...

I get the fact that if these guys are smugglers they are going to be tough...if these guys are going to be bounty hunters, then they are going to be nasty...really nasty. I don't like Vont at all, which I guess I'm supposed to...he's a horrible piece of work and a wonderful character. I hope he gets his come uppance, I hope it's painful and befitting... ;D

I also really like the way you paint a picture of every location, and they are so unique, I love the idea of a base in the middle of a sea full of massive beasts...that's so Star Wars.

What I liked most about this first chapter was the interplay between Vont and his child... you really have pushed the whole Star Wars story telling into a dark realm, I don't think anyone else would have created such a scenario, disturbing yes, but it hooked me in right from the start. I'm not sure if you are tapping into some of your own experiences with some of this stuff, there is a lot of sincerity behind the fiction...

Your story telling is very well paced, you are setting up multiple plot lines perfectly, something I could never do and it is a talent I very much envy.

Utterly superb 1st part,  I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Jules
« Last Edit: September 30, 2010, 08:38:22 AM by hangarbay94 »

Offline Darth Depressis

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Re: MOAWP S1/E7: "The Fantastic Fall of the Galactic Empire" Part 1
« Reply #2 on: October 02, 2010, 06:27:57 AM »
Darth,

Not only is this impressive from a graphical point of view but the story is (excuse my language) 'Kriffin' awesome! I'm really beginning to 'get' your work and it really is a rich mixture of troubled violence, some very aggressive and totally nasty characters, amazing locations in a realistic Star Wars Universe. Sure I concentrate on graphics, but at the end of the day it's the story that really matters, and I guess that was the point that you were trying to make over at YF. It seems a shame that people don't give these the time they deserve...

Thanks man, wouldn’t mind seeing this comment/review over on the yak.

Quote
I get the fact that if these guys are smugglers they are going to be tough...if these guys are going to be bounty hunters, then they are going to be nasty...really nasty. I don't like Vont at all, which I guess I'm supposed to...he's a horrible piece of work and a wonderful character. I hope he gets his come uppance, I hope it's painful and befitting... ;D

Oh yes, I can guarantee Dilbun will receive a ghastly demise;  he will over the course of the remaining five episodes be dealt rather savage injuries and beat downs. And will be executed at the climax of the 12th & final Memoirs episode: The Galactic Guillotine. personally, I too dislike Dilbun quite a bit.

Quote
I also really like the way you paint a picture of every location, and they are so unique, I love the idea of a base in the middle of a sea full of massive beasts...that's so Star Wars.

On a personal note; as I wrote this episode it really dawned upon me that “this is the closest to “Star Wars” I’ve ever gotten.” so I’m extremely pleased to hear this.

Quote
What I liked most about this first chapter was the interplay between Vont and his child... you really have pushed the whole Star Wars story telling into a dark realm, I don't think anyone else would have created such a scenario, disturbing yes, but it hooked me in right from the start. I'm not sure if you are tapping into some of your own experiences with some of this stuff, there is a lot of sincerity behind the fiction...

The interaction between Dilbun & Cas-Lo is partially based upon my own past experiences, just pushed to the extreme. Thee father/son storyline will be further detailed in the last two episodes: Orchestra of Pain & The Galactic Guillotine. Sadly this theme is absent from the forthcoming “Dark Empire” trilogy episodes.

Quote
Your story telling is very well paced, you are setting up multiple plot lines perfectly, something I could never do and it is a talent I very much envy.

Utterly superb 1st part,  I thoroughly enjoyed it!

Jules

Yet again, I must admit I’m almost dumbfounded in the face of such adulation; but I’m very pleased you enjoyed the first portion of this story and hope you enjoy the rest…

Offline hangarbay94

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Re: MOAWP S1/E7: "The Fantastic Fall of the Galactic Empire" Part 1
« Reply #3 on: October 02, 2010, 11:31:30 AM »
Darth, as someone who has already given up on one Photo Novel due to the difficulty of having to think up a story, I am very much aware of how hard it is to create a piece of enjoyable fiction. I repeat what I said earlier, the way you weave multiple plot lies is very impressive, and a great talent.

I have to admit that I was daunted by the length of your stories at first, I'm not really a patient reader. I have persevered though, and I have been pleasantly surprised. I have come to really enjoy your work, it's the writing that captures me the most, it's very dark...

With regard to YF, I will make my opinions known over there as well.

Offline Tamer

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Re: MOAWP S1/E7: "The Fantastic Fall of the Galactic Empire" Part 1
« Reply #4 on: October 02, 2010, 06:08:17 PM »
Wow, I too wan't the villian in this one waxed! He kind of reminds me of a Jersey Shore villian! Nice work.