The Imperial Shipyards
Imperial Creative Engineering => Graphic Fiction => Topic started by: jlw515 on January 28, 2013, 07:02:09 PM
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All comments and critiques are welcome!!
Jason
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Wow, love this. So many excellent little points that contribute to a magnificent issue. I don't know where to begin listing them, but I'll give it a try! I love;
- That the Force Spirits are distinguished by the colours highlighting their speech bubbles. We know exactly who is speaking without having to ruin the suspense.
- The use of the 'flash forward' 24 hours at the very beginning.
- Jar Jar! This is one of the few times where I (and I think most people :P) have actually enjoyed his presence in a story. He was sincerely amusing!
- All the little callbacks to the Prequel Trilogy and how they link up to the OT. A ceremony in honour of Padme, the callback to Naboo uniforms, etc.
- Characterisation. Han and Leia's exchange at the beginning, and more potently Bail Organa - we don't even see him, yet that small bit of information regarding why he never took Leia to Naboo before makes us instantly realise what's going through the guy's mind.
Top-notch chapter jlw515, I look forward to more.
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Sweet. Time to take the update to the front page. I will read this during my lunch hour today and try to leave some appropriate comments.
Thanks as always for sharing this with us.
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Outstanding work, this could be my favorite chapter of your's thus far!!! Including Jar Jar was an inspired decision, he really added great fun to the episode! The force ghosts were another wise inclusion, I could just imagine the three of them fearing the consequences of Jar Jar's careless mouth!!! A truly enjoyable chapter, keep up the great work!!!
CC
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Great story. Just an excellent filler episode that is totally in line with canon. It was pretty neat to see Jar Jar almost get himself in trouble. It will be interesting to see how this progresses.
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WOW! The Jedi Spirits have been accepted better than I thought. I almost regret deleting a scene now.
I'll wait for more responses before I say more.
As always with each chapter there are "easter eggs" all over! I'm waiting to see if any of my British friends pick up on a homage.
Jason
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Wow, love this. So many excellent little points that contribute to a magnificent issue. I don't know where to begin listing them, but I'll give it a try! I love;
- That the Force Spirits are distinguished by the colours highlighting their speech bubbles. We know exactly who is speaking without having to ruin the suspense.
- The use of the 'flash forward' 24 hours at the very beginning.
- Jar Jar! This is one of the few times where I (and I think most people :P) have actually enjoyed his presence in a story. He was sincerely amusing!
- All the little callbacks to the Prequel Trilogy and how they link up to the OT. A ceremony in honour of Padme, the callback to Naboo uniforms, etc.
- Characterisation. Han and Leia's exchange at the beginning, and more potently Bail Organa - we don't even see him, yet that small bit of information regarding why he never took Leia to Naboo before makes us instantly realise what's going through the guy's mind.
Top-notch chapter jlw515, I look forward to more.
What an excellent comment! Thank you so much! I'm not a big fan of the PT, but I tried to fill in what I consider to be gaps in the story. Thanks again.
Jason
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Outstanding work, this could be my favorite chapter of your's thus far!!! Including Jar Jar was an inspired decision, he really added great fun to the episode! The force ghosts were another wise inclusion, I could just imagine the three of them fearing the consequences of Jar Jar's careless mouth!!! A truly enjoyable chapter, keep up the great work!!!
CC
Thanks CC! Yeah I imagine with the weight of the galaxy riding on Luke and Leia all the Jedi Spirits would be keeping an eye on everything. As mentioned above I had another scene with the Jedi Spirits that I deleted. I'll tell more about it later. May even work some of the pictures into a later chapter.
Jason
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Great story. Just an excellent filler episode that is totally in line with canon. It was pretty neat to see Jar Jar almost get himself in trouble. It will be interesting to see how this progresses.
Thanks! For the most part my photonovel is a "filler" between ANH and TESB. There are several plot holes that are open between the events of Ep. 4, 5, & 6. I'm thinking of extending the photonovel beyond Ep. 5, but we'll just have to see how it all works out.
I'm hoping to have the next three chapters out one right after the other, but no promises. There is a playset I've found at a Big Lots that I can use over the next three chapters. I may be putting my head out on the chopping block (so to speak) with the next two chapters though.
Thanks for the front page shout out!
Jason
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great job i really enjoyed it
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WOW! so many new Photonovels in such a short space of tine!
I will catch up on this later and comment...
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WOW! so many new Photonovels in such a short space of tine!
I will catch up on this later and comment...
Jules,
Especially can't wait to read YOUR comments!! There's some easter eggs throughout this chapter! I may make a comment later on where I repost each pic with a comment under each one.
Jason
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I loved this. It was the highlight of my day when I followed a link to it from Facebook. Everyone's praise seems spot on, but one thing that really hooked me was the use of the Zartan figure, especially since the abilities he used in the story fit quite well with either shapeshifters or force powers in existing canon. As a youngling, I remember always mixing and matching my Star Wars and GI Joe toys... I liked the spaceships from Star Wars, but back then the Joe figures had the superior articulation, so they got to fly the ships a lot of the time (but Luke and Han got to drive the VAMP while towing Boba Fett on the Whirlwind, so that was a fair trade).
I'm really looking forward to getting caught up on your earlier episodes, this was why I registered (Though I assume I'll find plenty of other reasons to stick around also).
EDIT:
OK, just got finished getting caught up on the whole series so far. This is an awesome storyline. I can't wait to see more!
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I loved this. It was the highlight of my day when I followed a link to it from Facebook. Everyone's praise seems spot on, but one thing that really hooked me was the use of the Zartan figure, especially since the abilities he used in the story fit quite well with either shapeshifters or force powers in existing canon. As a youngling, I remember always mixing and matching my Star Wars and GI Joe toys... I liked the spaceships from Star Wars, but back then the Joe figures had the superior articulation, so they got to fly the ships a lot of the time (but Luke and Han got to drive the VAMP while towing Boba Fett on the Whirlwind, so that was a fair trade).
I'm really looking forward to getting caught up on your earlier episodes, this was why I registered (Though I assume I'll find plenty of other reasons to stick around also).
EDIT:
OK, just got finished getting caught up on the whole series so far. This is an awesome storyline. I can't wait to see more!
Sweet!! Thanks for the kind words. I really love that Zartan figure! I had only seen one on the peg when they first came out and I passed on it. Months and months later (maybe a year) I walked into a Big Lots thinking, "I wonder if they could have that Zartan figure?" Sure enough, I turned down an isle and there he was! I too mixed my Joes with Star Wars! I've got some other Joe figures I'm going to work into the series soon. thanks again!
Jason
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Starhammer,
By the way, thanks for going back and checking out the series from the beginning! That really means a lot! I remember trying to keep up with Jules' X-Wing photonovel, and I had missed so many chapters I just went back and started from scratch.
I will tell you (if you haven't already noticed) there are "easter eggs" and campy humor all throught my photonovel. Star Wars has never been known for it's dramatic screenwriting. So even though there are some serious tones to some chapters I still try to throw in a "shout out" to either another movie or something cultural.
For example there references to two different movies in this chapter (1) The Postman [Kevin Costner & Tom Petty] and (2) Transformers the Movie [Perceptor]. There's also a major easter egg that maybe only the Brits will catch. I'm waiting to see before I say more.
Jason
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Holy crap, it's like Photo Novel heaven at the moment... so many new productions released in such a short space of time, yours just seemed to pop out of nowhere!
Well what can I say, this was an absolute treat. A change of pace and quite a tough writing challenge methinks. No real action here but you used comedy to full effect to keep the reader interested, and yes you got it just right. I was keen to read on always taking a brief pause to enjoy your photography and dio set up's. You are a master of dialogue full stop.
I enjoyed this chapter every bit as much I did all the others, and filling in the gap between Ep 4 & 5 is just an amazing time period to deal with so I'm just hooked. I just hope that JJ Abrahams has the same admiration for the movies as you clearly have. Including Jar Jar, which I never thought I'd see in a photonovel on these forums, was approached with a kind of respect that had me thinking "yea, he's credible".
Oh and mentioning Hangarbay 94 and Rancor Squadron gave me a big smile... you have attained the "Kwan" ...
In conclusion, this project hasn't changed since you started, and why should it, you've set your own standard, you have your own unique look and it all works perfectly.
Jules (your no1 fan)
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Thanks Jules! Your comments mean a lot to me. We definitely share a love and respect for each other's photonovels.
Besides a shout out to you, there is also a shout out to Justin Cook with two "implied" characters in the background. Seeing as how neither character is actually named in this chapter - they "could" be from Justin's photonovel, or maybe not. I was a little leary of the homage to each of you (both of you have been an influence on my work) because I don't want something I do in my photonovel which is not entirely in the same time line as either of yours, to affect your stories. But then about the time I was putting this chapter together you mentioned your sabbatical away from X-Wing Alliance, so that kind of worked out anyway. Your photonovel was closer to the time frame as mine, so there is more of a possibility that Luke would have contact with the Rancors.
As mentioned earlier some of the dialogue in this chapter are easter eggs i.e. "shout outs" to other movies (The Postman & Transformers the movie). But Leia's speech is a homage to a very powerful Brit. This was done on purpose, because I believe this woman to have been one of the most powerful females (politically speaking) of our time. We'll see if this sparks anyone's interest. Of course I could simply have an American opinion on this, and the Brits actually hated her, but who knows!
Jason
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By the way Jules, I'm not sure if it's apparent; but you do realize that the Rodian character that talks to Luke is suppose to be Nessoo Graww? Right? So, it's not just that Rancor Squadron is mentioned, I sorta borrowed one of your characters!!
Jason
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Commented at YF, but in the spirit of Jules' recent post, let me add to the conversation here, as well.
For some reason, PNs set during the OT and featuring the classic characters are historically extremely rare. I can only think of the awesome "Old Friends" series that trod a similar time frame.
As such, this is a particularly appealing endeavor and fortunately it is as consistently awesome and entertaining as one would hope.
You really just nail the "feel" of the classic trilogy and the essence of the characters, while also filling in a lot of "gaps", not just between the OT and the PT but between what we imagined the characters doing in between films. I never read much EU on the subject and didn't care for what I did read, so this stuff is as good as gospel for me. It really does feel like getting another glimpse into that old familiar galaxy.
I confess to not catching many of your easter eggs, aside from the Rykrof cameo, so please hurry up with your "list", as you often do!
And bring us another chapter asap! I have loved this series from Day 1 and I will happily rancor joust Jules to reclaim my crown as "#1 Fan".
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By the way Jules, I'm not sure if it's apparent; but you do realize that the Rodian character that talks to Luke is suppose to be Nessoo Graww? Right? So, it's not just that Rancor Squadron is mentioned, I sorta borrowed one of your characters!!
Jason
Well that is just awesome! a cross pollination of characters across to your novel is such a perfect touch....
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Commented at YF, but in the spirit of Jules' recent post, let me add to the conversation here, as well.
For some reason, PNs set during the OT and featuring the classic characters are historically extremely rare. I can only think of the awesome "Old Friends" series that trod a similar time frame.
As such, this is a particularly appealing endeavor and fortunately it is as consistently awesome and entertaining as one would hope.
You really just nail the "feel" of the classic trilogy and the essence of the characters, while also filling in a lot of "gaps", not just between the OT and the PT but between what we imagined the characters doing in between films. I never read much EU on the subject and didn't care for what I did read, so this stuff is as good as gospel for me. It really does feel like getting another glimpse into that old familiar galaxy.
I confess to not catching many of your easter eggs, aside from the Rykrof cameo, so please hurry up with your "list", as you often do!
And bring us another chapter asap! I have loved this series from Day 1 and I will happily rancor joust Jules to reclaim my crown as "#1 Fan".
Thanks Lance!! No need to Rancor joust, you BOTH can be my #1 Fans - which is quite an honor to me. That really means a lot to me.
Ok. Here is the list of "Easter Eggs" in this chapter
* The title "A Time to Lament" is loosely taken from Ecclesiates 3:4
* Panna system "Ring Base" is taken from cartoon from Holiday Special
* The dialogue between Han & Leia was going to be a little more risque. I was going to borrow some dialogue from the t.v. show J.A.G. where the female laywer is talking to another woman who just rode in a jet about some people not liking to be "strapped down," and the woman replies that she didn't have a problem at all with being "strapped down." But I couldn't find the episode to use the dialogue, so I just dropped it.
* The Y-Wing in hyperspace - the hyperspace is actually a Windows desktop background.
* "Inside Hangar Bay 94" is of course a shout-out to Jules username, and his youtube videos "Inside the Hangar bay"
* Luke's "vintage" crack is a joke about the Naboo "vintage" figure.
* Scene with heroes flanked by Wookie and guards was actually photographed next to a 4ftx4ft glass block window in my bathroom. I've been trying to work that window in as a background for several chapters now!
* It is "implied" that Rykrof Enloe and his Wookie friend are two characters in this chapter
* The Rodian pilot is Nessoo Graww from "Rancor Squadron" of Jules' "X-Wing Alliance" photonovel
* Leia's speech is made up of famous Margaret Thatcher quotes. Growing up in the 80s, Thatcher was the most powerful female in politics of my youth.
* Leia's outfit is of course a throwback to Padme's outifit in AOTC
* Luke's conversation with the Shaak Ti custom (can't remember the ailien race name, she's not Shaak Ti by the way) is borrowed/adapted from the dialogue between Kevin Costner and Tom Petty in The Postman where Tom Petty actually plays himself.
* The background of Naboo was made with hand painted 4" PVC pipe for the columns and some wall sconces just flipped upside down
* Zartanus camouflage ability to actually turn invisible is a throwback to a GIJOE comic where Zartan does this in the Pit.
* Naboo pilot declares Dodonda is dead is borrowed from Perceptor's line concerning Optimus Prime in Transformers the Movie. I thought about having him say, "He's dead Leia. Leia, he's dead." But didn't know if I'd get tarred and feathered for having a Star Trek line in a Star Wars photonovel.
Jason
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For those who may have never seen The Postman:
And here is Perceptor's line from Transformers the Movie (but with different music)
I know I'm a geek!
Jason