Author Topic: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance  (Read 2376 times)

Offline DaBooma

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Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« on: March 03, 2014, 09:27:41 PM »
I've become so disgruntled by the Prequels. I decided to do my best, to remake them (although I have limited time, and resources). I recall reading a while ago about Kenner's plans and storyline to extend the life of Star Wars toys past Return of the Jedi. When you compare Lucas' Prequels to Kenner's Expanded Universe, Kenner's story was down right brilliant, and would be fitting for a prequel storyline. And I suspect Kenner's EU story was Lucas' influence for Attack of the Clones. If you're unsure what I'm referring to, Google Atha Prime, read about him and his clones. Pretty cool stuff.

In my remake, I use the Atha Prime story line more or less, as the Clone Wars mentioned in A New Hope. The best part of this version is that there are no midi-chorians, no prophecy, no virgin birth, no "younglings", no Jar-Jar, no dying of a broken heart, no color coded-power-ranger-esque clone troopers, no whiny Anakin, and only one guy answers to the name "Darth".

I'll update the story as often as I can, but here's the first part.... enjoy:


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Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance (The Crawl)

Is it a time of peace in the Old Republic. Obi-Wan Kenobi, a young Jedi, has just completed his training, and prepares
to say farewell to his master, Yoda.

Meanwhile, Atha Prime, a genetics master and ruler of the dark worlds, is creating
a massive clone army to use in his conquest to take over the galaxy. And is waiting for the right time... to strike.



Obi-wan: Master Yoda, I have returned from the cave.
Yoda: And what did you find?
Obi-wan: Nothing.
Yoda: Nothing you say?
Obi-wan: Yes, master…there..was nothing in there.



Yoda: Passed the trials, and the tests of a Jedi you have, Obi-wan. Nothing more, I can teach you. Come, the time has.
Obi-wan: The time? Master?
Yoda: Yes. Step before me. Kneel.



Yoda: For 800 years I have trained Jedi. And much of your life…trained you, I have. Strong with the Force you are. Our time as master and apprentice, are no longer. Now bestow the title, of Jedi Knight to you… I do.
Obi-wan: Thank you, Master Yoda.
Yoda: Rise Obi-wan.



Yoda: To the Jedi Counsel on Coruscant you must go. Aware of your status, they must be.
Obi-wan: Yes, of course. I’ll go there at once.
Yoda: A great Jedi master in you, I foresee. Pass on what you have learned. Your destiny you must now follow, Obi-wan.



Obi-wan: My ship is packed. I guess…this….. is goodbye. I lived here for so long.. I grew quite fond of this place. I’m actually going to miss it, here.
Yoda: No, Obi-wan. We all will be reunited one day by the Force. A good-bye, this is not.



Obi-wan: It’s been years since I’ve seen my family; my parents. My sister. I think I’ll pay them a visit before my journey to Coruscant. Thank you Master, for everything.



Yoda: May the Force be with you, Obi-wan.
Obi-wan: May the Force be with you, Master Yoda.




--- missing Obiwan's visit to Tantooine --


added 4/27/15

After a brief reunion with his sister, Beru, Obi-wan ventures to Coruscant to the Palace of the Jedi…


[BEEP!] [BEEP!] [BEEP!
Obiwan: A distress call?
Woman’s voice: Can [static] hear me? Help! We’re [static] attack! I repeat [static] under attack!
Obiwan: Hello?! Can you read me? This is Obiwan Kenobi, a Jedi, I’m following your distress beacon. Help is on the way!



Obiwan: Oh no… this doesn't look good. And there’s no sign of the attacking ships.
Obiwan on commlink:  This is Jedi Obiwan Kenobi. Can you read me? Is anyone there? Can you read me? I’m coming aboard. I repeat, I’m coming aboard. I'll directly connect to your quarter deck.



Obiwan: Is anyone alive?
Woman: …help….
Obiwan: How bad are you hurt? What happened here?



Woman: ..they came from nowhere…
Obiwan: Who did? Why did they do this?
Woman: We saw.. their…invasion fleet.. they took everything… destroyed …our computers
Obiwan: What fleet? Who is invading?  Shes….gone.



[Boom!]

Obiwan: I think it’s time to get out of here… gotta tell the Jedi Council!




Obiwan: Ugh….pinned. Must concentrate and use the Force… 




Stranger: Looks like you could really use a hand!



Obiwan: Who are you?  Did you do this to the crew?
Stranger: No, I picked up a distress call. Let’s get those plates off you…



Stranger: Can you walk?
Obiwan: Yeah, I think so.



Obiwan: So who are you?
Stranger: My name isn’t that important now…getting out of here is.

Obiwan: What exactly are you doing in this part of the galaxy?

Stranger: Let’s just say I’m in the…salvage business.

Obiwan: Salvage?

Stranger: Yeah. I find abandoned ships. And um…salvage anything I can from them, for…. a profit.
Obiwan: So you’re a pirate?
Stranger: Call me what you want. But I just saved your life. I heard the distress call came here  to help if I could. And if I couldn’t, then I could at least salvage what I can, to make my time worthwhile.
Obiwan: And did you find anything?
Stranger: No…this ship has been picked clean. What are you YOU doing here?
Obiwan: I was en route to Coruscant , when I heard the beacon as well, I came here to help…
[BOOM!]



Stranger: What the?! Were you expecting any company?
Obiwan: No, were you?
Stranger: Nope.



Obiwan: I think it’s time for us to leave. Now.
Stranger: Whoever they are, they just took out your ship!



Stranger: Hurry!  I’ll get you to mine!



[...Continued]
« Last Edit: April 27, 2015, 09:28:59 AM by DaBooma »

Offline Tamer

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Re: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« Reply #1 on: March 04, 2014, 09:01:56 AM »
Great story so far. I need to go read up on that Atha Prime Storyline today. You sure are taking out a lot of the prequels I don't like too.

Time to take this to the front page.

Offline Kualan

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Re: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« Reply #2 on: March 04, 2014, 05:18:34 PM »
Intriguing, it'll be interesting to see where you take this. Keep up the good work.

Offline Lance Quazar

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Re: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« Reply #3 on: March 05, 2014, 02:14:09 PM »
So far, this does with Yoda exactly what I think the prequels SHOULD have done.

Yoda should be a mysterious, mercurial figure.  A wise hermit, training apprentices in seclusion, working occasionally as a senior advisor, but not living in a sprawling central metropolis, having daily meetings with politicians.

I would have loved it in the prequels began with Obi Wan leaving Yoda behind after finishing his training to go off into the galaxy......and then we would only visit Yoda sporadically for advice and guidance. 

Very cool so far!!! 

Offline DaBooma

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Re: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« Reply #4 on: April 27, 2015, 09:29:22 AM »
New chapter added! :)

Offline Tamer

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Re: Star Wars Episode I: An Unlikely Alliance
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2015, 03:02:40 AM »
New chapter added! :)

To the front page with this news.