Author Topic: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls - The Final Chapter  (Read 12893 times)

Offline hangarbay94

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #30 on: May 16, 2010, 08:12:50 AM »
ditto!

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #31 on: May 16, 2010, 09:10:26 AM »
Wow...well now you guys have me thinking a bit...

Jules, I'm still having difficulties transferring my story to those slides.  I think I need that gradient background separate from the green slide.  In the meantime, I wonder if there is someone I can consult about whether or not to try and do something with this story or not...

Offline hangarbay94

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #32 on: May 16, 2010, 09:24:32 AM »
PAT, if you can just put the text into a text box, or send it to me on a word document, that would be enough, I'll then transfer it myself!

With regards to publishing, my Brother-in-Law is a pretty famous writer in the UK, he's written stuff for TV and film and has recently been a Bafta judge, I'll speak to him about this. I would think that the first thing he'll suggest will be that you complete the story before trying your luck at publishing.

I think I mentioned this earlier, I read Millennium Falcon while on holiday, perhaps approaching the publishers of that and the other SW novels might be another good place.

I'm no expert, but I'm glad that you are taking this a bit more seriously as you seem to have a true talent for this.

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #33 on: May 16, 2010, 09:30:48 AM »
It's all thanks to encouragement from you guys!  What's the worst that can happen, they tell me it sucks and they're not interested?  No harm no foul, because in the end, all of you get to enjoy it anyway!

I'll send those Word files to you.  I don't know why I'm having such a difficult time with it.  I'm pretty knowledgeable with Office, but this is puzzling me!

Offline hangarbay94

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #34 on: May 16, 2010, 01:22:25 PM »
Hmmm....my problem is copying it from here into powerpoint, the text goes all skewiff and it takes a while to shift it all into the correct paragraphs...

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #35 on: May 16, 2010, 01:25:16 PM »
I tried to email it to you, but it got kicked back because your host has Yahoo blacklisted.  I'll try and send it form another email address.

Offline Tamer

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #36 on: May 17, 2010, 07:02:30 AM »
It read great Pat. I want more!

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #37 on: June 20, 2010, 08:28:04 PM »
     "You shall pay for your failures, Master Kenobi,” said Hett calmly as he loomed over the fallen Jedi Master.  “I didn’t want it to come to this, but I cannot allow you to further taint the Order with your poor teachings.”  Hett raised his lightsaber high above his head in a killing stroke.  As his highly trained muscles begain their downward arc, Hett suddenly became blinded by a sandstorm.  Millions of tiny shards of rock, worn to fine points by a millennia of winds and scorching suns showered Hett, enveloping him in a cocoon of grit and dirt. 
   Using the momentary diversion he created, Obi-Wan leapt to his feet and planted a solid kick square in Hett’s chest, knocking him down.  Using the Force, Obi-Wan continued to shower Hett with sand and rock, burying him in a tomb of Tatooine’s soil, pressing down on him with all his might.  “You have been corrupted, my old friend,” shouted Obi-Wan.  “You have fallen to the Dark Side, and I cannot allow you to spread your evil.”  Kenobi stabbed down into the sand, hoping to strike a killing blow on Hett to end the confrontation.  However, nothing ever came easy for a Jedi, and now was not going to be different.  As Obi-Wan’s blade came stinging down into the sand, Hett’s crimson blade sprang forth to deflect the thrust aside as he leapt out of the sand trap.
   “Nice try, Master, but you will have to do much better than that.”  Hett’s blade came fast and wild, anger taking over from precision.  Hett’s blade crossed Obi-Wan’s repeatedly, left and right, up and down, so fast that their blades shone in a mixture of blue, red, and purple hues.
   Suddenly as if hit by a starfighter, A’Sharad was thrown backwards, landing in a heap several meters away dazed and confused.  Obi-Wan stood his ground, almost glowing with Force energy.  “You clearly have not finished your studies, old friend.  Had the Clone Wars not broken out, perhaps your training could have reached their height.  Instead, you have underestimated what the Light Side is capable of.”  Thrusting his arms out in front of him, grasping empty air, Obi-Wan picked up Hett from the ground, holding him high above the ground.  “You have brought this upon yourself, Master Hett.  Together, we could have brought the Jedi back from the brink of extinction.  Instead, I must now wipe the stain of the Dark Side from you completely.  I am sorry.  I have failed you, just as I have failed Anakin.  You are but another lesson that I may learn from so that I can help usher in a new era of the Jedi; A wiser, stronger breed of Jedi.  Farewell A’Sharad Hett.  May the Force be with you.”
   In a moment of panic, A’Sharad threw a barrage of bolts of electricity at Obi-Wan, startling the venerable Master into letting him go.  “I cannot allow you to end my time here,” gasped A’Sharad as he recovered his balance.  “Perhaps now is not the time.  But we will have our time, I promise.”  Using the Force and Master Kenobi’s own trick, Hett threw up a sandstorm, but this time to hide his escape.  When the sand cleared, Obi-Wan had recovered his composure, Hett nowhere to be found in the Desert landscape.
   “I have a bad feeling about this,” remarked Obi-Wan, as he strode off into the Jundland Wastes to his home.

   “I do not fear you, Sith witch.  I am not the Jedi you are accustomed to hunting.  I will fight back, and I will not bow down before you.”  Quinlan Vos’s jade saber glowed in the darkness of the strange cavern in which he found himself.  Mentally, he gathered all of the Force power he could muster.  This was not going to be a civil fight, and Vos knew it.
   “Silly Kiffar,” spat Cheai Xatal, “I shall rip out your intestines and use them to hang your wife and child!”
   The stunned look on Master Vos’ face made the Bothan smile wide, showing her fanged visage.  “Do you really think I will allow that,” stammered Vos?
   “You don’t have a choice in the matter, Jedi.  I will kill you like I have so many others.  But this time, I think I’ll enjoy this slaying even more.  I can feel the conflict in you, Vos; you want to tap into the Dark Side, like you have so many times before, but you don’t want to fail your offspring.  I can feel the conflict in you, and it tastes rich!”
   With that, Vos leapt forward, hoping to catch the grandstanding Sith offguard.  He raised his lightsaber high above his head in a Form VII Vapaad maneuver, one that utilized speed and strength in an effort to knock back his opponent, regardless on their readiness.  The ploy worked, as the Bothan Sith had mere seconds to ignite her forearm saber in an attempt to parry the brutal attack.  Xatal had only ever seen such savagery in lightsaber combat when she was being taught by Lord Vader himself.  She had barely survived the encounter then, but she was determined to not repeat those mistakes today.  Allowing the force of Vos’ attack to throw herself backwards, Xatal used the space to gather herself, igniting her lightsaber claws and extinguishing her forearm lightsaber.  Attuning the crystals in her gloves, her claws grew to the length of her forearm.  Rushing forward, she lunged at her target with the ferocity of a mother gundark protecting her children.  Her highly trained reflexes easily pushed aside the Jedi’s next attack, and added in one of her own, a vicious swipe at Quinlan’s leg in hopes of severing the limb from his body.  In an equally fast maneuver, the Kiffar Jedi barrel rolled over the body of the Bothan, avoiding her attack and adding in one of his own.  Vos swiped at Cheai’s extended arm, but she was able to twist out of the way and block with the claws on her opposite hand.  Picking themselves up and resetting themselves for attack or defense, Vos realized he was now between the Sith Assassin and the exit from the cavern.  He had a choice to make now; retreat and continue running from the assassin, or stay and face her until the end.  Momentarily, Master Vos allowed himself to think of his family.  In that briefest of moments, he knew that the choice was already made for him.  He would stay, and slay this Sith witch.  Failure was not an option; his family depended on that.
   Calling on the Force, Vos threw up a Force bubble surrounding himself, as well as thrusting an enormous Force Push at the Bothan.   In response, Cheai Xatal threw up a Force shield to defend against the incredible onslaught.  Caught off guard and now a little frightened, Cheai Xatal put everything she had, calling upon the darkest recesses of the Dark Side to protect herself from the attack facing her.  That, proved to be a costly mistake for her.  In a split instant, Vos recognized the error in the Sith’s defense, and split his focus to pull an enormous stalactite from the ceiling behind Xatal, hurtling it towards the back of her head.
   Cheai instantly felt the incoming missile in the Force, and turned to deflect the mighty stalactite, and in doing so, opened herself up to the original Force push, hurtling her face first into the cavern wall.  The room spun in a swirl of black, red, and green.  Completely disoriented, barely conscious, Cheai Xatal called further upon the Dark Side of the Force to give her strength to pick herself up again.  She turned slowly, wobbling around on unsure legs, to face the Jedi Master.  As her mind snapped back to reality, she saw Vos moving towards her with purpose.  Quickly, Xatal threw out several fingers of Force lightning, snaking their way through the burning ozone of the atmosphere, seeking the body of the unsuspecting Jedi.  But the Jedi was suspecting.  He was preparing for just such an assault, and easily absorbed the flickering attack with his emerald blade, fastidiously brushing it aside as he raised the blade for a killing stroke.  In a flash, the blade came down, and a searing pain erupted like a volcano on Mustafar in Xatal’s shoulder.  With a look of pure horror, she looked over to see her amputated arm lying next to her, still twitching and writhing, as if kept alive by the Force itself.
   “Please, Master Vos!  Think of what we can do together,” cried Xatal, the pain clear in her voice.  “You don’t have to kill me.  You can teach me to control the Light and the Dark, just as you have.  Together, we can over take Vader and the Emperor and end their reign.  Please!  Please don’t-“
   And with the final stroke, one more Sith ceased to exist in the Universe.  “May you find peace in the Force, Cheai Xatal.”  “I must seek out Master Kenobi now,” mumbled Vos.  “Where am I going to find transport on this rock?”  Master Vos closed down his blade, hooking it back on his belt as he turned away from the remains of the Sith assassin lying still on the cavern floor.  Her presence no longer felt in the Force, it was time for Vos to make his way to the spaceport and find transport.


Offline hangarbay94

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #38 on: June 21, 2010, 04:54:23 AM »
Do me a favour Pat..give up the day job and start writing novels!!!

You have the touch my friend, this was an extraordinary read. Your desription of the fights, the interplay between the characters, it just oooozes Classic Star Wars.

Man...AWSEOME!

Offline wraithnine

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #39 on: June 21, 2010, 06:29:16 AM »
utterly superb my friend   
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Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #40 on: June 21, 2010, 03:15:09 PM »
Thanks guys!  I may have to rewrite that chapter a bit, as I'm not all that satisfied with how it ended.  I should have extended the battle a bit more.  It's just having the time to sit down and write that is the hard part.  Each chapter takes me about an hour and a half-two hours to write.

Offline Irish Ninja 97

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #41 on: June 22, 2010, 06:01:46 PM »
KOOL!
As do I. It is our lot in life, Master. Shall we find something to kill to cheer us up?
                                                                           -HK-47

Offline dana.raye.smith

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #42 on: June 22, 2010, 08:19:03 PM »
As long as you keep writing and posting the story, I think you have a following that will read itand give homnost feed back.
I am enjoying this greatly.
Please keep writing this... even if its a half hour at a time.
This is better than a few of the SW novels I have read this year already.

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #43 on: June 22, 2010, 08:40:57 PM »
Thanks DRS!  That makes me feel really good!

Offline Phatty

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Re: Light Shines Brightest When Darkness Falls
« Reply #44 on: July 06, 2010, 09:57:32 PM »
     "Now, which of these buckets will make it to Tatooine," thought Master Vos as he strode through the shipyard on Terminus.  There was a large variety of ships strewn about, from large freighters to short range skiprays.  Funny, for as far out into nowhere as Terminus was, Vos had a hard time imagining where the skiprays would get off to from here.  They may have been from the Imperial Commandos, but they usually traveled openly, since they were the ranking force in the Emperor's Galaxy.  Then again, Terminus wasn't exactly Coruscant, and far from even Palpatine's eyes.

     "Can I help you with something, young man?" asked an elderly pilot, seemingly appearing from the heavy mists that clung to the air like mynocks on power cables.  Vos thought it odd that he hadn't sensed the older man in the Force, which immediately put the Master on guard.  "Are you looking for a particular ship?

     "Good evening, Sir.  I'm actually looking for transport into the Outer Rim.  Tatooine, specifically.  Do you know of any transports heading that way?"

     "Tatooine, eh?  Now why would you be heading out there?  It's a long way from Kiffu, my young friend.  In fact, you're even further away from Tatooine."  The aging man stood approximately two meters tall, with a chiseled jawline, almost etched from ferrocrete.  His bright eyes sparkled in the diminished light, a bright blue like the skies over Naboo.  His square face seemed out of place from the gentleman's wide, genuinely jolly grin.  His arms strained against the sleeves of his jump suit, soiled with a myriad of oils, greases, fluids, and other oddities gained from being a pilot for what seems the better part of the past 60 years.  Yet, through all of that, Quinlan could not help but feel as though it was all a carefully planned ruse.

     "Very astute.  How do you know I'm from Kiffu?"
     "Well, I've done plenty of traveling in my time, and I recognize your family markings.  Quian's boy, of Clan Vos, yes?"

     "It appears as though you have me at a disadvantage.  You know more of me than most, yet I do not know you.  In fact, you would have had to have met my father more than sixty-seven years ago."  Vos dropped into a slight, defensive stance, moving his hand towards his hidden lightsaber on his belt.

     "Now now, my young friend, there will be no need for violence.  While true, I do know you, I have no intent on causing you harm.  And you can stop pushing with your Force powers, I have no desire to mislead you.  I've watched you grow up, though from afar while in the Jedi Temple on Coruscant.  I've been hiding out, much like you have.  My name, is Thame Cerulian."

     "Master Cerulian, I know of you, though I admit to never have meeting you.  Please excuse my impetuousness."  The Kiffar Jedi Master bowed gracefully to the old Master.  I can see that the Force has indeed worked in its own mysterious way in bringing us together on this planet.

     "There is nothing to excuse, my young friend.  You had no way of knowing, and I've had what seems like two lifetimes to learn to conceal myself, even from one as strong with the Force as yourself.  I left the order after my young protoge, Count Dooku, left the order.  I saw great evil in him, as he spiraled further down into the Dark Side.  After the mysterious disappearance of Master Sifo Dyas, I could bear no more, and left everything behind to travel the stars.  I find these systems beyond the Outer Rim to be peaceful, free from the bureaucracy and turmoil that was the Jedi and the Sith.  However, I can see that perhaps I was destined to remain out here in desolation, in waiting for you to come here, now."

     "I've been evading Imperial Commandos and Sith Assassins for a few years now.  Somehow, they discovered that I had not been slain on Kashyyyk as they had originally believed, and have been tracking me relentlessly.  I've gone on the run to protect my family, and now I must make my way to Tatooine to assist Master Kenobi in a struggle he is facing now.  Master Tholme has come to me from the Force to urge me to go and help."

     "Ah, so Master Tholme has passed on then, has he?  I sense it was peaceful and happy, as well.  He had earned that peace.  He's faced a lot in his time.  And how is Khaleen and Korto?"

     "It unnerves me that you know so much, having left so long ago as you have said.  I'm doubtful that much of this information is floating freely across the extranet."

     "I've always kept a close eye on the dealings of my greatest failure.  There is a never ending supply of eyes, ears, and mouths, when you know how to persuade them to your cause.  You should know that better than most.  It was when you had allowed yourself to become Dooku's apprentice that I first took notice of you, and had watched from afar.  When I had heard that a Kiffar Jedi had fallen to the Dark Side, not once but twice, I became curious, and have watched your development with great interest.  What can I say?  You intrigue me!  I've never seen another Jedi walk both sides of the Force, as you have, and come back to the Light every time.  I worried, at first, because I sensed that you could become one of the most powerful, vicious Dark Lords to ever reign in the galaxy.  Even Palpatine could not harness the unbridled powers you can command when you wish.  But your compassion, your ability to shine brightest when the darkness falls, is truly a wonder to behold.  The one thing I did not anticipate, however, was meeting you here, now."

     "I've never enjoyed my time in the Dark Side.  The first time, was not of my doing.  The second, was because I was sure I could come back, and was sure that it needed to be done.  I prefer to think of myself as a Grey Jedi."

     "There have been a great many Grey Jedi in the histories of the Order.  Many were truly remarkable in what they have accomplished.  But those are stories for another time.  We need to get to Master Kenobi and help him now, don't we?  I sense there is a terrible shift in the balance of the Force focusing there.  And if I have sensed it, and Master Tholme has sensed it in the Great Beyond, then I'm certain that Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine have also sensed such things.  Plus, we need to evade your Sith Assassin if we are to be successful.  Please, let's hasten to my ship over there, the Tartan-Class patrol cruiser."

     "I agree, I'd like to move quickly, but the Sith Witch is dead, I killed her back in a cave several parsecs back," said the Kiffar Jedi nonchalantly.

     "No, my young friend, you did not, and she moves quickly this way.  While you have learned a great deal more than most Jedi of your time, you still have a great deal yet to learn," said the old Master grimly.  "The ship's ready for flight, so strap yourself into the co-pilot seat while I get us set for take off.  We haven't much time."

     The ship was a sight to behold, to be sure.  How a Jedi Master could afford such a cruiser was a mystery, and this one had been upgraded heavily.  The armor plating was so dense, that it seemed to eat up the Force rather than deflect it.  Colored a rich sapphire blue, with green accents that were reminiscent of the tops of the great Wroshyr trees of Kashyyyk, and gold plated cannons capable of taking on any Star destroyer.  From the looks of the craft, it could defend itself from almost any onslaught.  It's sleek design was great for evading attack and running blockades, and the immense turbo thrusters in the rear were sure to outrun any assault crafts.

     "Run, Jedi, run as fast as you can.  It won't be enough.  I will bathe in your blood tonight!"  The Sith Assassin's voice echoed in Quinlan Vos' conscience, and Vos knew it was time to move.

     "I'm ready, pre-flight is set.  Let's get a move on, Master Cerulian!" shouted Vos out the loading ramp.

     "Patience is a virtue, my friend.  We're all disconnected and ready.  Bring up the landing gear as I punch in the coordinates.  We need to make several jumps so as not to leave an easy trail."

     The ship, named the Pontites, easily rose through the night, like a dart heading into the sky, vanishing quickly from the stratosphere of Terminus.  It's destination unknown, it's cargo precious.  Cheai Xatal had allowed her quarry to escape.  Lord Vader would not look kindly to her failure.  There would be great pain, to go with her inadequacy.  She would face her destiny, with her head held high.